New Funny Instagram Bio

  1. You is kind, you is smart, you is important
  2. I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I am joking.
  3. I have not lost my mind – it’s backed up on HD somewhere.
    Just a cupcake looking for a stud muffin
  4. There shouldn’t be a fear of getting old. It’s the fear of not getting there that scares me.
  5. Buddy, can you paradigm?
  6. Putting’ the ‘elation’ in ‘Public Relations’
  7. OMG no one cares
  8. Insert pretentious stuff about myself here.
  9. I used to act. I also belly dance and eat Jolly Ranchers – not always at the same time though.
  10. Making the Snuggie look good since 2009.
  11. Please insert pretentious crap about myself here.
  12. That awkward moment you get accepted to all the schools you applied for.
  13. I’m real and I hope some of my followers are too.
  14. Good Samaritan, washed-up athlete, especially gifted napper.
  15. A Caffeine dependent life-form
  16. Born at a very young age
  17. Currently working towards an MBA with an emphasis in fantasy football
  18. Winner of World’s Best Wife Award (Category: Nagging)
  19. Fabulous ends in “us” coincidence? I think not
  20. There’s no such thing as darkness, just an absence of light
  21. I think it’s weird if a girl doesn’t have an Instagram now days.
  22. Words cannot express my love & passion for Fridays!
  23. Mama said life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what your gonna get
  24. You’re a 10, on the pH scale, maybe. Cuz you’re basic
  25. Someday, there’s going to be an updated version of me.
  26. I talk like a baby and I never pay for drinks.

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