funny instagram captions

  1. Reality called, so I hung up.
  2. Confidence level: Kanye West.
  3. Vacation squad goals. *insert dancing emoji*
  4. Don’t mess with my clique.
  5. I don’t sweat—I sparkle.
  6. Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.
  7. In squad we trust. *insert prayer hands emoji*
  8. Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.
  9. Yes, we like pina coladas and getting caught in the rain. *insert cocktail emoji*
  10. My prince is not coming on a white horse… he’s obviously riding a turtle somewhere, really confused.
  11. It’s too “a.m.” for me.
  12. How I feel when there is no coffee? Depresso.
  13. Out of the way, world. I’ve got my sassy pants on today.
  14. I know the voices in my head aren’t real….. but sometimes their ideas are just absolutely awesome!
  15. But just a good photo or video does not guarantee enough attention. Neither does a simple caption.
  16. Enjoy at least one sunset per day! – Modern Family
  17. Don’t let anyone tell you that you wear too much black.
  18. They say don’t try this at home…so I went to my friends home!
  19. I like hashtags, because they look like waffles.
  20. ETC. End of Thinking Capacity.
  21. They say: Do what you love and the money will come to you. Just ordered pizza, now I am waiting…
  22. My bed is a magical place I suddenly remember everything I had to do.
  23. I spend a lot of time holding the refrigerator door open, looking for answers. Also food.
  24. If you got eyes, look at me now.
  25. Kinda classy, kinda hood.
  26. May your coffee be hot and your eyeliner even.
  27. I like long romantic walks down every aisle at Target.
  28. When the gym struggle is all too real.
  29. Choose your buddy’s name from the drop-down list and click on it, to tag your friend in your Insta post.
  30. Friday, my second favorite F word.
  31. If there would be an award for being lazy, I would send someone to pick it up for me.

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