- “You never know what you have until you have cleaned your house.”
- “Another fine day ruined by responsibilities.”
- “I put the ‘Pro’ in procrastinate.”
- “Today is one of those days that even my coffee needs a coffee.”
- “Be a cupcake in a world of muffins.”
- “Going to bed early. Not going to a party. Not leaving my house. My childhood punishments has become my adult goals.”
- “There’s no ‘we’ in fries.”
- “Morning coffee, because anything else is worthless.”
- “May your coffee be hot and your eyeliner even.”
- “Maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s an Instagram filter.”
- “At least my pizza still loves me.”
- “If I was funny, I would have a good Instagram caption.”
- “I need a six month holiday, twice a year.”
- “It’s not a phase mom, it’s who I am.”
- “Vodka may not be the answer but it’s worth a shot.”
- “My bed is a magical place I suddenly remember everything I had to do.”
- “If there would be an award for being lazy, I would send someone to pick it up for me.”
- “When nothing goes right, go left.”
- “Sure, I do marathons. On Netflix.”
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